


The Beers

by woodsgotwood



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Love/Hate Relationship, Sexual Tension, Underage Drinking, a drunk leo valdez is a fantastic leo valdez, all that good stuff, and reyna is a goddess and can totally handle his bullshit so, demigod parties, playful banter, songfic kinda?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 13:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodsgotwood/pseuds/woodsgotwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo Valdez had originally thought that going to the start-of-summer party for both Half-Blood camps would be a great idea, but it turns out that no matter how drunk he got the fates had conspired against him having any fun. That is, until Reyna arrived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beers

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic was inspired, in part, by the song The Beers by the Front Bottoms (A great song, you should go listen). Also, the word capernoited, which I saw in a post of cool words to inspire drabbles. Yeah, well, this is definitely not a drabble. But that's okay because Leo Valdez is wasted and Reyna is horny so~

_"And I will remember that summer  
As the summer I was taking steroids  
Because you like a man with muscles  
And I like you."_

One of the Apollo kids had decided on the music. Of course they did, it was the only explanation as to why there was some kind of weird indie rock playing at a party. If it were Leo, he would have already set up high-tech surround sound through the whole building with a celestial bronze jukebox that people could walk up to and put in their music preferences. The jukebox picks a playlist that fits with the music taste of everyone it meets and voila - a perfect party playlist. Nothing like this crap.

But he did have to admit, despite the fact that the lead singer could not sing, it was a catchy song.

The reason why Leo Valdez could deeply analyze the song choices playing at the party was because he was sitting on the couch. Alone. Sipping a red solo cup full of Bacchanalian Wine. His third cup, to be precise. _Di immortales_ , this was pathetic.

He drummed the beat of the song on the cup, looking around the room disinterestedly. He couldn't remember how long he had been there, all he could remember is that the second he walked through the door with the rest of the seven they all paired off and went their separate ways. Who would have thought that Frank Zhang was a master at beer pong? Or that since Percy Jackson could breath underwater he was supernaturally proficient at a kegstand. Even Jason, Mr. All-Rules-All-The-Time, walked off with Piper a while ago and had yet to be seen. Leo knew all of this, of course, because he had followed the seven like a lost puppy before he realized that everyone was having fun with out him, and he was just watching them.

So he sat on the couch of some random Aphrodite chick that donated her house for this occasion. Granted, it was a comfy couch, but it was still a couch. A couch at a party, no less. Leo was the only one using it.

At first the idea of a "start-of-the-summer" party for both camps to attend seemed like a good one. It had to be done under the radar, without any authority from either camps finding, not to mention parents - both godly and mortal. No demigod under sixteen was allowed to attend (except Hazel and Nico of course, and Nico had decided not to show up) and no one was to speak a word of it before it happened. It was also mainly BYOB, with only some booze being provided by the host.

The BYOB was an incredible idea, too. The Dionysus and Bacchus campers followed through incredibly. They brought kegs, hard liquor, and the crazy strong Bacchanalian wine he was currently sipping on. This was the stuff that Dionysus made himself and used to party with the nymphs on Mount Nysa. Nowadays it was only used for ceremonies, which was mostly because people in this century were insane lightweights compared to the Ancient Greeks. After three cups of the stuff, Leo was completely hammered.

He went to take another drink, but found that his cup was empty. He groaned and threw the cup in some general direction. He ended up hitting someone in the head, which ended in a glare, but Leo didn't care. He sighed and sunk into the couch even more, staring around him as Half-Bloods had fun. It was a miracle that no monsters hadn't picked up on their scent, yet.

"You look like you're having a great time," he heard a female voice say. He looked up from his drunken stupor to find none other than Praetor of New Rome, Reyna Alvirez Ramirez-Arellano.

Leo was glad that he had finished his drink, because if had still had it he would have spit it out. Right there, in front of her. Hades, he probably would have spit it on her, too. And that would be quite a shame, because she wasn't wearing her Praetor's robes, oh no. She was dressed like an actual teenager. She decided to not go too fancy, which Leo found admirable. She simply wore a white, v-neck t-shirt and faded skinny jeans. She looked amazing, but Leo was currently much more surprised at the simple fact of her being there, hence the spit-take he would have taken if he were able.

"Reyna? What are you doing here?" he asked, with probably a little too much venom in his voice.

At the look on her face he immediately regretted saying that, "No, that's not what I meant. I just thought that no authority was supposed to know about it."

Reyna rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at him, "Leo, I'm praetor, not president. And you're forgetting that I'm a teenager, too. Maybe I want to get drunk at some stupid party like all the rest of you guys."

Leo raised one eyebrow in slight disbelief, "Are you?" he asked.

Reyna narrowed her eyes and gave him one of the dirtiest looks he had ever seen, "Of course I'm a teenager, Valdez. Although it may be hard for someone with such a puny brain as yours to comprehend. You know, the type of puny brain that allowed some homicidal ghost to attack my camp."

Leo groaned and put his head in his hands, "Okay, first, why must we always come back to that? I've told you a million-bajillion times that I'm sorry. And second, I didn't mean to ask if you were a teenager. I meant drunk."

Reyna's face went slack, "Oh," she said, sitting right down next to him on the couch. Her arms were still crossed, but all the aggression was gone.

"So, are you?" he asked.

She sighed, then shook her head, "Not a bit."

For some reason, Leo found this incredibly funny. Hilarious, even. He began to laugh hysterically, so much that he could barely hold himself upright. He leaned against Reyna, laughing and hiccuping. "I'm hammered," he confessed, which only made him laugh even more.

Reyna scowled and pushed him off of her, "Yeah, I can tell."

Leo sighed as he composed himself, "Still doesn't help with the fact that this is a shitty party, though."

Reyna nodded, "Agreed. Although we may be the only ones that feel that way," she said, eyeing the rest of the teenagers as they danced and drank and enjoyed themselves.

She turned to him, "To be honest, I didn't come over here because I like you. I only came over because you were the only other person here that looked like they were having just as much as a lousy time. Pathetic, right?"

Leo nodded, "Oh yeah, totally pathetic. For me, mostly, but definitely pathetic."

Reyna groaned, "There you go again. Leo Valdez, the seventh wheel. Self-deprecation with a smile. Trust me, Valdez, the act is old," she said, staring him down like a predator.

Leo furrowed his eyebrows, trying to wrap his mind about what exactly she was saying, "It's not an act," he said, "And what's so wrong with self-deprecation, huh? It's endearing. And coupled with my amazing sense of humor it makes me basically irresistible."

Reyna cracked a small smile, "See, that's so much better. Trust me, Valdez, you're so much more bearable without the whining and moping. I mean, not very bearable, but still. You are incredibly hard to stand in the first place, after all."

"Thank you?" he said.

"There's more where that came from, don't worry," she said.

Leo opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came to his mind. He was too busy staring her over to remember what he was going to say to her. Hades, he couldn't even remember if it was a comeback or a witty retort or whatever. All he knew that the second he looked over to her to give her a piece of his mind, his mind went blank. All he could think about was her hair in a loose braid, and how certain strands fell into her face in waves. Despite wearing normal clothes, she still had the regal air about her - that kind of intense, cold beauty that you couldn't help but be totally afraid of.

"Earth to Leo?"

_"There's beer in coffee mugs, water bottles and soda cups,  
And it's clear as the windows I came through  
That you are in one of those moods and I am in one of them, too  
And it's hard to communicate anything"_

Leo groaned, "This shitty song _again_? I swear, I'm gonna murder those Apollo kids."

"For having good taste?" she scoffed, "C'mon, Leo, it's the Front Bottoms. Don't tell me you have terrible music taste along with a terrible personality."

Leo's mouth dropped open in shock, "I can't believe you," he slurred, "That was about the meanest thing someone has ever said to me. And trust me, I've had many a person hate me. Like, just this past year this Ice goddess had this huge love/hate relationship with me-"

Reyna groaned again, "Ugh, for the love of Jupiter, Valdez. Do you ever stop talking?"

Leo sighed, "You really need to get drunk," he said to her.

She rested her head on the couch and sank into it, her body going limp, "Tell me about it."

Well, this was something Leo could help with. He slowly got up from the place he had felt like he had spent the last twelve hours sitting in. He made it into an upright position, but still had to lean against the arm of the sofa. He turned the Praetor and booped her on her nose, "I have just the thing," he said, then very gracefully turned around and tripped over the coffee table, landing straight on his face.

Reyna's tinkling laugh woke him from the dense cloud of his own embarrassment. Oh my gods, was that an adorable laugh.

He shakily got up to his feet, grabbing on to whatever was in reach to pull himself up. He thought that one of those things might have been a random person, but he couldn't know for sure. "Do not worry, milady," he said to Reyna, although he did not look towards her as he rightfully assumed that it would disturb the very last semblance of balance he had, "'Tis only my ego that is injured."

Somehow Leo made it to the kitchen in one piece. He grabbed the last bottle of Bacchanalian Wine and sauntered drunkenly back into the living room. Reyna was still giggling at the sight of him, and Leo was sure he would be giggling too if he could see himself right then. He must have looked like a total wreck. His long-sleeve white shirt was completely disheveled and one of his suspenders was not even on correctly. This was not even counting the fact that it was absolutely impossible for him to walk in a straight line.

He made it to the couch and clumsily fell onto it. Well, he fell slightly onto it, he mostly fell onto Reyna. He muttered out an apology and shuffled himself onto his own cushion.

He handed her the bottle, "Bacchanalian Wine for the Praetor."

She gave him a small, grateful smile and took a sip. Her eyebrows rose in surprise and she looked over the bottle. "Oh wow," she said, "That hits you hard. How much of this have you had?"

Leo shrugged, "Pssh, like three cups. You know, nothing that much."

Reyna raised her eyebrows even higher, "Seriously? You're insane, Valdez. And not in the good way."

"Not in the Jason way, you mean?" he said.

Reyna, who had taken another sip of the wine, balked at his words. She took the bottle away from her lips and started coughing. "What?" she exclaimed.

"No, you know what I mean. Like insane Jason, taking out giants by riding horses made out of clouds or toppling some stupid throne of some stupid Titan. I'm not insane like Jason, is what you mean," he said.

"I don't know what you're-"

"Or Percy! Gods, I'm definitely not insane like Percy. You know he once mailed the severed head of Medusa to Mount Olympus? Hey, an even more recent example, falling into the deepest pits of literal hell to be with the one they loved. I'm not that insane," he said.

Reyna pursed her lips and shot him a dangerous look, "You're treading on thin ice here, Valdez," she snarled, taking a swig of the bottle.

"Well, sucks to be me, you know why?" he slurred, "I catch on fire, like, all the freaking time! So screw your ice, Reyna. Cuz you like those insane heroic dudes who are all noble and crap. And _muscley_ ," he spat out like it was a curse word.

Reyna rolled her eyes, "Well _excuse me_ if I want a boyfriend that can keep up with me. Do you even know who my mother is, Valdez? Bellona, goddess of war. And let me tell you, I'm freaking powerful. Do you even know how many monsters I've killed? Scratch that, do you even know how many depraved pirates me and my sister fought off to even get here? Yeah, I bet you never heard that story before. So I'm sorry if I had my eyes set on a couple of boys who were powerful enough to be my equal." She turned away from him haughtily, taking another big swig of the wine.

Leo sunk back into the couch and crossed his arms moodily, "I would probably slow down if I were you," he said softly, referring to the wine.

"I can handle myself just fine, Valdez," she spat, taking another drink.

"You must be at least a little bit tipsy, now," he said.

She nodded, "Perhaps a bit capernoited."

Leo looked at her in disbelief, "What language are you even speaking?"

She looked at him like he was one of the most disgusting things she had ever seen, "Well, it's certainly not Spanish, _pendejo_. It's English, and it means the exact same thing as tipsy."

"So why don't you just say tipsy?" he said.

"Would you rather say tipsy or capernoited?"

Leo shrugged, "Fair enough," he said, then rested his head on her shoulder, "D'you mind? I can't quite keep it up m'self."

She shook her head, "Anything for a drunken bastard, Valdez," she said, lightly bumping his forehead with hers.

Leo began to giggle, "You're drunk," he said, "And you're a bastard, too, you know. We're all bastards here!" he yelled, which elicited an surprisingly loud cheer, especially considering what they were cheering for.

"That was right in my ear," she groaned, nudging him with her shoulder, then taking another drink, "Do you think I want your nasty hot breath right in my ear?"

Leo turned his head so that he was looking straight on at her with his half-lidded eyes. That was when he knew that he was really drunk, because then he said this:

"I can show you just how hotter it can get." He brought forward his hand, one flame erupting from it.

Reyna raised her eyebrows slightly, her mouth upturning into a smile. Leo could smell the wine on her breath, but it surprisingly wasn't that bad. "Do you really think that your silly little magic trick is going to work on me?"

Leo's mouth turned upwards into a huge grin, "Of course it is."

Through the fog, he wasn't sure who initiated it, but the next he knew was that they were kissing. His hand, extinguished of his flame, was rested on the back of her head and tangled in her hair. For a split second he worried about ruining her braid, but then her hand rested on his thigh and, _dios mio_ , did she have a tight grip.

He grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap, and he rested his hand on the back of her neck and deepened the kiss. He was so lost in the kiss, so incredibly - Hades, was she _rubbing_? She was the praetor, what did she think she--

And that was when they fell off of the couch and onto the floor in a heap. Leo clutched his head, which was now starting to feel the full effects of the alcohol now that it had slammed against the hardwood floor.

He looked over to Reyna, who was giggling uncontrollably. She pushed him away weakly, "Drunken mistake," she whispered, then tried and failed to get up from the ground.

Leo pushed himself up, "Not if I can help it," he said, "Allow me." He pulled her to her feet, and used the force of their arms together to pull her straight into him. He grabbed at her wildly, then, the movement throwing him off his balance once more. He wobbled a bit, but managed to stay on his feet this time, his arms around her in an embrace.

Reyna looked around the room at all the dancing Half-Bloods having the time of their life. As her eyes looked around the whole room, his eyes trailed over her. She finally turned back to Leo and gave him a small smile.

"C'mon, follow me," she said, then took his hand and started to drag him away from the couch.

"But, the wine--" he started.

"Won't need it," she finished.

He looked towards where she was leading him -- it was the bedrooms. Leo idly thought through the confused haze that perhaps this party was not as bad as he had first originally thought.

_"As the summer I was taking steroids"_

They closed the door behind them.


End file.
